


Days of Our Lives

by ThwipBit (charlion_em)



Category: Nova (Comics), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, M/M, spideynova week 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlion_em/pseuds/ThwipBit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow Sam and Peter on a fluffy/drama/angst domestic AU adventure for Spideynova week. Ups and downs all around. </p><p>//slightly cleaned up from tumblr, but nothing major changed. Called it 'Days of Our Lives' as a nod to trashy soap operas</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads my trash :). And a huge thank you to the tumblr community! Your words of encouragement this past week mean a lot to me!!
> 
> I'm working on improving my writing and your encouragement means a lot! As always, please let me know of any mistakes I miss! (Feel free to anon me if you are not comfortable doing so!) 
> 
> This fic was posted originally on tumblr for spideynova week 4 and I couldn't get to my PC most of the week, so...a bit late posting here ^^; I tried to tidy this up, and tbh I see a lot I could/should expand...but I'm leaving it be out of pure emotional drain from writing this.../end rambles.

Moving to a new city was never easy. Luckily for Sam, he already had a friend in New York and was quickly introduced to even more people. Yet, he was hesitant when Luke invited him along to a house warming party for someone he didn’t know. Wasn’t that rude? Luke reassured him that Danny and Ava would be there too, and that their friend wouldn’t mind _one bit._

He met Luke at the address right after work and followed him to the correct floor. To Sam's chagrin, Luke didn’t bother knocking, he just opened the door and waltzed in, motioning for Sam to follow. Sam sat his skateboard against the wall and looked around. He and Luke seemed to be the first to arrive. Sam chuckled at the decorations. Luke and Danny both told him Peter was a nerd, but he figured they meant the the comic book type. And, there was a vintage Star Wars poster framed on the far wall, but there was _also_ a framed periodic table. A microscope was sitting on a pile of books, and in one corner was a computer that looked like it belonged to Tony Stark. It screamed "A science nerd lives here". 

Luke pulled him down to the couch. Music was already playing, and Sam quirked an eyebrow at the music selection. Luke’s friend Peter definitely was a grade A nerd.  A small table was set up near what he suspected was the kitchen. Food was already piled on it, making Sam salivate. He had came straight from work and he was beyond starving.

Sam looked around, but didn’t see any sign of Peter. Soon he heard singing coming from the kitchen.

“ _~I’m lying in the rain. But I never wave bye-by~_.” The voice sang along to the music coming from the sound system. “ _But I~ Try~I Try~_ ”  It was a rich baritone and Sam wondered if its owner was as handsome as the voice suggested.

Sam didn’t have to wait long, the owner of the voice, who he assumed was Peter, danced into the living room with a tray of food, singing away as he moved.

 _“~Never gonna fall for ~ Modern Love ~walks beside me~ Modern Love ~ walks on by~_.” ‘Probably’ Peter sat the tray on the table before turning around and seeing Sam and Luke staring at him. He jumped with a slight yelp.

Sam took the moment to look him over. He was wearing a Stormtrooper apron over jeans and a green polo, all of which were slightly baggy. His brown hair was slightly shaggy and looked like he hadn’t had it cut a long time. Below his messy bangs were a set of the most _gorgeous eyes_ Sam had ever seen, covered by a pair of the _thickest glasses_ he had ever seen.

Luke’s laughter pulled him away from awkwardly staring. “Yo Petey.”

Peter relaxed, “Hey Luke.” He looked to Sam, “Who’s your friend?”

Sam sat a bit straighter. “Uh, Hi. I’m Sam.” He gave Peter a small wave. 

Luke punched Sam’s arm. “He’s the one I told you about. Jus’ moved to New York.”

In front of them Peter blushed, “Uh, right. Welcome.” He was rubbing the back of his neck nervously and Sam had the urge to mess with him.

“ _So_ , you often dance around singing David Bowie?” Sam gave him a toothy grin as Peter blushed deeper and stammered. He was saved by a knock at the door.

Soon the small apartment was filled with people Sam both knew and didn’t. He was introduced to MJ, a journalist he recognized from the news, and the handsome heir to the Osborne estates.

Sam caught glimpses of Peter as he played host, introducing people to his other guests and refilling the food table. Luke walked up behind him while he was observing Peter, startling him.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re checking him out.”

Sam blushed and looked away from Peter.

“Why don’t you talk to him instead of ogling him from back here?” Luke gave him a light shove in Peter’s direction.

Sam sighed and walked up to the nerdy man. He was currently standing alone, typing on his phone. “Hey.”

Peter jumped and put his phone in his pocket. “Uh, hey.” Peter gripped his elbow, “So, how are you liking New York?”

Feeling bold -because, he didn’t have to see this nerd again if it backfired- Sam leaned closer. “Well, the food is nice. The people? I think I’m liking the people.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Really? The people? No one likes the people.”

Sam edged closer. “Well, I’ve met some pretty rad people. There’s even this really hot guy I just met.”

Peter frowned and his shoulders sagged. “Oh? Lu-lucky guy.”

Sam beamed up at him, noticing Peter was a good five inches taller than him. “Yea, I’m new in town, so I’m not sure where a good place for a date is. Any suggestions?”

Peter looked at his feet, “Not really. I haven’t been out in…” He trailed off and Sam wanted to pull in into a hug right then. Poor guy. “But, uh, I remember Ava saying there was a nice french cafe not far from here. You’d be better off asking Luke or Ava?”

“Okay.” Sam watched Peter look around the room. Everyone else was too busy in their own conversations to notice them. “But, I’m pretty broke. Just moved to a new city, you know?”

Peter turned his attention back to Sam, looking uncomfortable. Sam questioned if his prodding was too much, should he be more direct?

Peter said, “Well, you don’t have to spend money to have a good date. Isn’t the point to get to know the other person? And if they care about how much you’re spending, do you think they’ll be a good fit?”

Sam blinked up at Peter. His sage advice was tinged with a hint of sadness. Sam wondered if Peter had recently had a bad breakup. No, he just said he hadn’t been on a date in a while…

He realized he was staring again and quickly said, “Like a picnic?”

Peter smiled, nodding as he said, “Yeah.”

Sam grinned, he had never been a smooth talker. He hoped his meaning didn’t get lost. “So, are you free Saturday?”

Peter inhaled, “What?”

“I’d like to take you on a picnic. A date.”

Peter stared down at him, wide eyed behind his glasses. “Me?”

Sam made a show of looking behind Peter. “Yeah.”

“But you said…”

“That I met this really hot guy and wanna ask him out. He iiiisss a bit of a nerd, and seems pretty shy, but I wanna give it a shot.” Sam stared into Peter’s eyes hopefully, “Even if he turns me down.”

Peter gaped at him. Before Sam could get his answer MJ was pulling Peter away with a rushed, “You’ve got to see this!”

Sam sighed, shrugged, and followed them back to the main living room where everyone was gathered around the television. Danny was casting a cat video from his phone. It was cute, Sam would give it that, but the damn thing cost him his time alone with Peter.

He observed Peter as he stood stiffly between MJ and Danny. Had he blown it?

Probably.

Luke leaned to whisper in his ear, “So? You two…?”

Sam sighed and whispered back. “I think I blew it.”

Luke frowned. “Sorry, Sam. I thought he’d be into you…”

Sam stopped listening as Peter turned and caught his gaze. He sent Sam a small smile that made Sam feel warm. Maybe he hadn’t messed up after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Sam showed up right on time for his first date with Peter with picnic supplies tucked neatly into a messenger bag. That had been their deal: Sam would bring blankets, wine, and portable music, and Peter would supply the food.

Peter opened the door for him and Sam waltzed through, doing his best to ignore the butterflies in his tummy. It had been a long time since he had been on a date. And after just the little bit he had talked with Peter at the party a few night prior, Sam knew Peter was going to be different. He was going to be different from all the shitty past relationships he suffered through.  

Sam smiled up at Peter, hoping he would be different for Peter too.

Peter closed the door as Sam leaned his skateboard against the wall. “So,” he began nervously, “Ham and cheese sandwiches okay with you?”

Sam nodded. “Yea, that’s fine. We should probably get going, it looked like it could rain at any time…”

Peter shuffled his feet, “Okay, I just need to finish packing the food up.”

As soon as Peter finished speaking, a loud clap of thunder shook the apartment building. They looked towards the window and saw the sky had darkened significantly.  

Peter’s shoulders sagged, “So much for our date.” He ran a hand over the back of his head. “Maybe we could try again another day?”

Sam took in the downturn of Peter’s mouth. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to put a smile on his face. “Bull. We still have the food, right?” He walked over to Peter’s couch and pulled out a cushion.

Peter raised a hand toward Sam, “What are you doing?”

Sam turn to give him a mischievous grin, “I’m saving our date.” He pulled out the remaining cushions and tossed them on the ground. “Unless you’d rather I leave?”

Peter crossed his arms, “Tempting, considering you’re tearing up my living room…”

Sam looked up from where he was sitting on the floor. “Dude, your place is _already_ a mess. Besides, when is the last time you made a pillow fort?”

After a little convincing, and a lot of directions, Peter helped Sam create the pillow fort. _Complete with secret tunnel entrance_. The inside was just large enough for both of them to sit comfortably, and Peter rigged a fan to circulate the air and positioned the lights so enough filtered through the top layer of blankets.

Sam was sitting inside while Peter fetched their lunch. He smiled to himself, they hadn’t really talked yet, but they connected so well while building the fort. He wasn’t alone long, soon Peter emerged through the tunnel with two plates. He handed one to Sam and took a seat across from him.

“Thank you.” Sam let his fingers brush Peter’s as he took the plate.

Peter stared at his plate, “You’re welcome.” He sighed and poked at his sandwich.

Sam frowned. “Dude, you okay? You seem…upset. Have I been too forward? Shit…If you don’t want to do this anymore-”

Peter looked up at Sam with a panicked look. “No! Don’t go,” He reach out and grabbed Sam’s hand. “I’m just..nervous. If I wasn’t interested I wouldn’t have agreed to this date in the first place….”

Sam turned his hand so they were palm to palm and gave Peter’s hand a squeeze. “I’m glad you said yes.” He couldn’t stop his brain from imagining Peter saying yes to a completely different question- and what the heck brain? They hadn’t even technically had their first date yet.

Across from him, Peter was blushing.

“Pete, you don’t have to be nervous”

“It’s just…been a while…” He looked back at his plate and started picking at the chips.

“Yea, me too.”

Peter gaped at him, “I find that hard to believe.” He sucked in a breath when he realized what he said.  

Sam grinned. “Likewise.” He let go of Peter’s hand and started on his plate of food. “So, where do you work?” He was still bummed he didn’t get to talk to Peter very much at his house warming party,

“I work at S.H.I.E.L.D. Labs. I do mostly genetic research, but I do help out in engineering when our projects cross. How about you? Luke didn’t mention it when he told me about you.”

“Wait- Luke…” Sam threw his head back with a laugh while Peter turned red. “He set us up, didn’t he?”

Peter stammered out, “He put the pieces in place and let them fall where they will.”

Sam smiled, remembering Luke’s prodding at the party. He did more than just set them up. “I’m a cop. Rookie still, but moving to New York should help my career out. I’m hoping to make detective in three years.”

Peter frowned, “Isn’t that dangerous? Especially in New York!”

Sam shrugged. “It can be. I guess. My dad’s a cop, so I guess I just grew up used to it.”

“Same. But with the science stuff.”

The more they talked, the more Peter relaxed. They quickly found they had a lot in common, including a love of Star Trek (though Peter preferred Star Wars) and key lime pie. Sam desperately wanted to ask Peter who had hurt him so badly in the past to turn him so insecure, but he held his tongue. He knew that was not a first or second, or even third date question- no matter how well they clicked. 

Soon their fort became too hot, even with the fan running, and they decided to call it a night. Sam followed Peter into his kitchen to help clean, but was rebuked. “Sam, you’re my guest. I’m not letting you clean up.”

Sam grabbed a towel. “You wash, I’ll dry.”

“Sam, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to. Besides, I really don’t want to go yet.” He leaned up and gave Peter a peck on the cheek, proud of himself for holding out so long.

Peter blinked down at him. “You…actually…” He rubbed the spot where Sam had kissed him.

Sam smiled, choosing not to comment on Peter’s awe. “Come on, the dishes won’t wash themselves. You really should get a dishwasher.”

There weren’t many dishes and they quickly finished. They tackled the living room next, and Sam was sad to see their fort dismantled.

When the last cushion was put back on the couch Peter turned to Sam. “Thank you. This, this was nice. We should do it again. ”

Sam was happy Peter was opening up more. “Absolutely.” He frowned, “I have newbie orientation the next two weeks. They make the rookies work 15 hour days filled with paperwork and shit runs to learn the area.”

“That sucks.”

“Yea. So, maybe we can do something after?”

Peter hummed, “You want me to wait two weeks for a second date?” Before Sam could retort he continued. “You could always stop by for a few minutes, I could make you a home cooked meal so you don’t starve.”

Sam decided in that moment Peter was the one. “That- that would be amazing. Better than fast food…”

He hadn’t realized they had slowly drifted closer. Peter’s breath ghosted over his nose and Sam tentatively put a hand on his hip. When Peter didn’t jump back at the contact he gently pulled him closer.

“Sam…?”

Sam stared into Peter’s eyes. They were slightly magnified by his glasses, making Peter appear even more innocent.

“Peter.”

“Are you going to kiss me?”

“Only if you want.”

Sam wasn’t sure which one of them moved first. The kiss was light, barely more than a brush of their lips.

It was the best first kiss he ever had.   
It was the best first date he ever had. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING MY TRASH!


	3. Chapter 3

After that first week, stopping by Peter’s apartment after a long day at the precinct soon became a habit. Being a police officer wasn’t the _easiest_ thing, and he was thankful for Peter’s patience. He would often come over after work and pass out, often while using Peter as a pillow.

The hours he worked meant they didn’t get to see each other much beyond eating and sleeping for the first month they were dating. Peter was patient with him, and they made the most of the little time they did have together. Sam did manage to scrounge up time for an actual date after a little over a month of dating. They went to the cute little french cafe Peter had mentioned the first time they met, and saw a movie after.

It had been a long four months, but he _finally_ had a whole weekend off. And Sam was giddy with excitement. He was going to shower Peter with love and affection.

Earlier that week, when he first found out he had the weekend off, he enlisted Luke’s help. Luke was _more_ than happy to help, and agreed to lure Peter out of his apartment long enough for Sam to cook a surprise dinner.

Peter had given him a key to his apartment after just their first month of dating, which surprised Sam. For all of his initial shyness, Peter took no time opening up. Peter had handed him the key nonchalantly with a “ _Well, you are always here anyways_ ” thrown in. It did make it easier to stop by right after work. Instead of going home after work until Peter got home, then trudging back across town, he could just nap on Peter’s couch- or bed. 

Sam laid out the ingredients he needed and set to work on their meal. In the four months they had been dating, this would be the first time Sam had cooked for Peter. He was already looking forward to doing so again. He was _officially_ off rookie training and would have more time off.

Sam was finishing setting the table when Peter came home. He dropped a fork on the floor, and Peter heard it from the living room.

“Sam? Are you here?” He could hear Peter moving slowly through the apartment. "Who ever is here...I'm warning you. My boyfriend is a cop and he will mess you up."

Sam poked his head out of the dining room. “Hey babe.” He watched Peter visibly relax. "You use the 'my boyfriend is a cop' line often?" 

Peter rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen. He eyed the table, “I thought you said you had to work all weekend?”

Sam grinned and gave him a quick kiss. “It was a _ruse_ so I could surprise you.”

With a chuckle, Peter pulled him into a hug. “You didn’t have to…”

“You’ve been feeding _ME_ for four months straight. This,” he waved his arm at the food, “is the least I could do.” 

They made light conversation while they ate, occasionally brushing their knees together. Sam couldn’t believe how _easy_ it was with Peter. They occasionally had a disagreement, but they talked it out. It was new for Sam to be in a relationship where they respected each other enough to talk…instead of yell. And, while Peter had not opened up about his previous relationships, Sam suspected he had similar experiences.

“That was really good, Sam. Where did you learn to cook?”

It was Sam’s turn to wash the dishes while Peter dried. He passed Peter a plate. “My mom. She always took the time to show me how she made dinner. She said it was too important a skill to ignore.”

Peter laughed. “She sounds great. I’d love to meet her.”

Sam stopped washing the dish in his hand and looked over to Peter. It had been years since he had introduced someone to his family, there hadn’t been a reason to. “I’d love you to meet her too.”

They continued washing the dishes in mostly silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When they were done Sam noticed the trash was full. He grabbed a new bag from under the sink and walked over to lift the full bag from the can.

“Sam, what are you doing?”

“Uh,” Sam looked at the bag in his hand, “Taking out the trash.” He gave Peter an ‘ _isn’t it obvious look_ ’.

“Isn’t it my turn?” Peter stared at Sam with an amused expression.

“What’s so funny?”

“We have a chore schedule.”

Sam blinked, “So?”

Peter gave him a kiss on his forehead and laughed into his hair. “You don’t even live here. And we have a chore schedule.”

“So?” Sam didn’t see the problem. He made just as much mess as Peter given the amount of time he spent there. Why shouldn’t he help out? He was about to give an indigent reply when Peter kissed him.

Peter was beaming when he pulled away from the kiss. “Move in.”

Sam dropped the trash bag back into the bin. “What?”

“Move in with me.” As he said it he wrapped his arms around Sam’s shoulders.

Sam was frozen. Nerdy, shy, handsome, amazing, Peter Parker wanted him to move in? His heart fluttered in his chest.

“Sam? Love? Are you okay?”

Sam rested his head on Peter’s chest. “Yes. Yes.” And he couldn’t stop his mind from imagining him saying yes to a _completely_ different question. He briefly registered that he thought something similar on their first date about _Peter_ saying yes; he found he didn’t care which end of that he would be on. He loved this man. 


	4. Chapter 4

For the second time in less than a year, Sam was moving. He had already downsized for his move to New York and he worked too much to have time to accumulate much clutter. 

“Is that everything?” Peter looked over his measly three boxes and one suitcase.

“Yea. Well, I never got around to buying furniture really. And my air mattress belonged in the trash anyway…”

Peter smiled, “Well, lets get to work unpacking then.”

The first box was filled with books and some documents. While Sam sorted the documents back into 'personal' and 'work', Peter carefully organized the books into the bookshelf. Sam smiled at the sight. Having their books mixed like that…“It looks right.”

Peter leaned down to kiss him. “It looks like home.” And it truly did, their belongings mixed together like they were always that way. 

Peter dove into the next box and held up a poster. “Where do you want to put this?”

Sam laughed, “Do you really want to hang up a poster for Grand Turismo?”

“You’re moving in, it’s _your_ apartment now too. _Our apartment_. It should look like we both live here.”

“Our apartment. I don't think I'll get tired of calling it that. Put the poster wherever. I’m going to put my clothes away.” Sam toted the suitcase into Peter’s, no, _THEIR_ , bedroom.

When he returned Peter was going through the last box. He glanced around and found Peter had placed his poster on one side of the kitchen entrance, and his college diploma was proudly displayed on the wall next to Peter’s.

Peter held up a small jewelry box, “Bedroom?”

Sam took the box and opened it, taking a seat next to Peter as he did so. He pulled out the single thing he kept in it and turned it around in his hand.

“That’s a beautiful pocket watch.” Peter slid next to him.

Sam turned the watch over and showed Peter the engraving. “It was my grandfather’s. I only met him a few times, but my parents told me stories.” He set the watch back in the box. “It’s my most important possession. I’m supposed to pass it down to my kids, as my Dad passed it down to me.” Sam sighed. “I guess Kaelynn will be the one to do that.”

Peter squeezed his knee, “Hey,” Peter waited for Sam to meet his gaze. “We can always adopt.”

Something hot erupted inside Sam’s chest. “I -Peter.” He leaned over to capture Peter’s lips.

“You’re a smart guy, you’ve never thought about adoption?”

Sam frowned, then turned back to Peter with a soft smile. “I- I’ve never been with someone who I’d want to raise a child with until now.”

“Me too.” Peter gently took the box from Sam’s hands. “Let’s find a safe place for this.”

It was a promise. A promise of a future together. They weren’t ready for a more permanent commitment. Not yet. But they were quickly moving towards it, and Sam couldn’t keep the lopsided smile off his face as they put the watch into the fireproof safe.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few months flew past. Peter’s Aunt May invited them to her house for thanksgiving dinner, and her and Sam hit it off. Later, Sam skyped with his parents and sister, introducing them to Peter. It wasn’t the same, but none of them had the time or money to visit in person. For the first time in a long while; Sam felt whole. Peter’s Aunt loved him, and his own family liked Peter.

Life was good.

Before Sam knew it, it was almost December. He had no idea what to get Peter for Christmas, if he wanted something he would just buy it. Sam was on the couch, bent over his laptop searching for gift ideas when Peter came home.

“Hey, Petey.” Sam closed his laptop and stood to greet his boyfriend. “How was work?”

Peter sat his bag on the floor and pulled Sam into a tight embrace. “It was great. They announced our holiday party- _finally_.” He rubbed his nose on Sam’s. “It’s formal, I can’t wait to see you in a suit.”

Sam groaned. “No bueno.”

Peter laughed. “Is your precinct having a party?”

Sam shook his head, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Bummer. Well, we have over a month to find you a suit. My coworkers are excited to meet you.” Peter gave him a quick squeeze then bounced down the hallway to change.

Sam stared at his feet. He hated dressing up. He hated parading around in front of people and acting like he cared about their opinions. He also hated lying to Peter. 

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He quickly crossed the room and opened the door.

“Clint?” His partner usually called him if there was an emergency. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yea, fine. You left your lunch bag in my patrol car yesterday, figured you’d need it for tomorrow.”

“Ah, thanks! You didn’t have to.” He glanced behind him to make sure Peter was still in the bedroom.

“Eh, there was a call a block over, figured I’d do ya a solid.”

Behind him he heard Peter walk into the living room. “Sam, who’s at the door?”

Sam turned his head to face Peter. “Uh, my partner, Clint.”

Peter waved from where he stood by the couch. “Hello!” Sam was relieved when he faced away from them and rummaged through his bag.

“Well, thanks again. See you at work tomorrow.” Sam tried to subtly push Clint out of the door.

“Ah, so that’s the roommate you talk about? Nice to put a face to the name." Clint gave a chuckle, "Have you got yourself a date to the New Years party yet? You know I'm not letting you skip it.”

“Um. Talk tomorrow?” Sam closed the door in Clint’s face and put his hands on it to brace himself. He heard Clint mutter through the door, then heard his retreating footsteps. He knew it was impossible that Peter hadn’t heard any of that and he was thankful he had at least been facing away from Clint.

Sam's hands were shaking when he turned around. Peter was still facing away and leaning over his work bag. “Pete.” His voice wavered. 

Peter didn’t respond or make any indication he heard Sam. With a swallowed breath and heavy heart, Sam walked over to stand in front of Peter. “Love?” He knelt down and lifted Peter’s chin.

Tears were freely flowing down his face, dripping onto his paperwork. Sam’s heart stopped as he took in the broken expression on his boyfriend’s face.

Peter’s lips quivered as he whispered, “Roommate?”

“No, no. I love you Pete. You’re my whole world!” He reached to pull Peter into an embrace but was pushed back.

Peter stood up and wiped at his eyes. He shook his head. “You….you…”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, trying not to break down. He needed to explain before Peter thought the worst. “Being gay on the force isn’t really an option. They wouldn’t accept me. So, I lied…Peter, I’m sorry. I never-”

“You’re ashamed of me?” Peter took another step back.

“No! I love you, Petey.”

Peter rushed past him and into their bedroom. Sam chased after him but was too late and the door was slammed in his face. He heard the soft click of the lock and banged against the door. “Peter. I’m sorry. I- I…” He slumped against the door, letting his tears flow freely. “Peter, talk to me.”

He heard Peter moving around inside the room. A few moments later the door was flung open and Sam almost fell into Peter.

“Pete….” He tried to block Peter’s way out. “I’m sorry.”

Peter shifted and Sam realized there was a duffel bag in his hand. “Move.”

“Peter.”

“I won’t be someone’s…someone’s little secret _again_!” He squared his shoulders. “I won’t. I’ll be back tomorrow after work and I want all of your stuff out.”

Sam felt his knees threaten to collapse. “Don’t…Petey…I love you. You’re not a secret, we have so many friends that know about us. I- I just can’t tell my coworkers! I’d get harassed and- and I’d never get a promotion-and-shit-Pete.” His breath was coming in shallow bursts. “Don’t leave me. Please.”

Peter closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “You have until 5pm tomorrow or I’ll call the _cops_.”

Sam’s knees buckled and he collapsed against the wall. He looked up to Peter who refused to meet his gaze. “Please….”

Peter stepped over him and Sam watched as his future walked out the front door. Sam stared at the door for hours, willing Peter to come home. He lost track of the time, but as the sun started to rise he threw everything he could find into a box and left the apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FACE =.=‘ I gave myself heartburn writing this. ORIGINALLY they were going to fight over the hours they worked/the dangers of Sam’s job. But then that thing happened in NYC with the whole cops beating up that guy and calling him slurs and I was like…it must be super hard to be a gay cop in NYC. so. bam. this. urgh. I hated writing this.
> 
> Also, I like Hawkeye and think him and Sam would be good police au police partners and I just may do a short of their antics…


	6. Chapter 6

A week after the breakup Sam realized he forgot some things in his haze. He tried calling Peter, but his calls went straight to voicemail. It wasn’t surprising, but he hoped Peter had cooled down enough to talk to him.

He tried to rope Luke into helping, but was turned away. Luke had looked him in the eye and growled, “You made the mess. Let the poor man be, just cut your loss and buy replacement stuff.”

If it was just ‘ _stuff_ ’ Sam would have taken the advice. He would have stayed in his cheap hotel room and continued looking for a cheap flat. He would have left Peter alone, kept out of his life like he asked. Sam didn’t trust himself to not try to hold Peter to him if he saw him. He didn’t trust himself to not break down and _beg_.

If it was just ' _stuff_ ’ he would not have been staring at the apartment door trying to work up the courage to knock. He only needed one thing. The rest Peter could throw out...or burn if he wanted. With a swallow he brought his fist up and lightly tapped on the door.

When the door opened he couldn’t bring himself to look Peter in the eyes. “Go away.”

Sam put his foot out to catch to door before Peter could close it. “I will. I left something here, I just need to get it then I’ll leave.”

Peter snorted and opened the door again. He motioned for Sam to come in and he took a hesitant step into the apartment. He could feel Peter’s eyes on him. Sam knew he looked like shit.; he hadn’t shaved in days, he knew his eyes had dark circles under them, and his clothes were slightly wrinkled.

He got the courage to look at Peter and saw he was in a similar state. Bile threatened to rise up. He did this, he should be the one to suffer, _not Peter_. A quick glance around their apartment reviled Peter hadn’t cleaned in a while. No, it wasn’t _their_ apartment, it was just Peter’s. A voice in the back of his mind whispered: 'The bookshelf seems empty'. 

“Well?” Peter’s voice was strained. 

Sam shuffled his feet, he couldn’t retrieve it. It wasn’t his apartment, he couldn’t just _waltz_ around. He took a shaky breath and willed himself not to cry. “It’s….in the safe.” He couldn't mean Peter's eyes as he said it.

Peter gasp with realization and disappeared into their -his- bedroom.

Sam stood awkwardly while he waited for Peter. The breakup had happened so fast, he was still coming to terms with it. Inside his head, a battle waged. Should he try to talk to Peter? Or stay out of his life and never risk hurting him again?

He felt, more than heard, Peter return to the room. Sam looked up from his feet to see the watch box being held in his face.

Sam met Peter’s eyes, silently beseeching him. He could not help thinking that taking the watch would make their breakup permanent. It had symbolized their _future_ , a promise of _more_.

Silent tears started falling down Peter’s cheeks. “Take it. Go.”

Sam felt his own tears begin to escape. “Peter. I love you.” He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “I think I always will.”

“Sam.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me too.”

Peter inhaled and shook his head. “I can’t.”

He allowed hope to bloom inside him. “Then-” 

“No!”

Sam took an uneasy step towards Peter. “I know you’re still mad. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But,” he gently wiped the tears from Peters face, “Can we talk? Work through this?” Sam let his hand fall to his side. “I know, I know I messed up, but I wanna fix it. I love you.”

He held his breath as he waited for Peter to respond.

Peter took a deep breath. “I can’t.” He forced the watch box into Sam’s hand and retreated into the bedroom.

Sam turned to let himself out. Before he closed the door he walked back in and crossed the room until he was standing in front of the bedroom door. He knocked lightly.

There was a muffled, “Go away!”

“I am. I -I just wanted to let you know I’ll -I’ll stay away. You don’t have to worry about me showing up again. I love you, and I’ll always welcome you if you- but I won’t- you don’t have to worry about seeing me unannounced again. I love you, Peter.” He let his head rest against the door for a moment before leaving the apartment for the last time.


	7. Chapter 7

Instead of attending the Lab’s holiday party, Peter was sitting in his apartment looking over notes from his current projects. The silence was unnerving, even with the radio on. It had been over a month since he broke up with Sam, yet he still expected to hear him singing in the shower, or to wake up to pancakes after a long night in the labs.

He realized he had read the same line five times and set the papers on the end table. Peter took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes.

Had he been unfair to Sam? He had the same discussion with himself everyday. He wanted to believe he did the right thing.

When Sam showed up the week after their breakup, he almost caved. Because, he still loved Sam. Giving back the pocket watch had ripped out a part of him. He knew if he saw Sam again he wouldn’t be able to walk away again. But, Sam had kept his word and stayed away.

There was one thing which Peter couldn’t ignore: Sam had introduced him to his family. His last boyfriend hadn’t, he hid their relationship from family, from friends. He yelled at Peter when he would suggest going out with a group.

Sam was nothing like him.

Sam kept his promises. Sam treated him like an equal, not a toy. Sam would go out together with their friends. Sam would hold his hand tighter when someone made a rude comment in public.

But Sam also kept their relationship a secret from his coworkers. Sam called Peter his roommate. Deep down, he understood. He faced prejudices before, he knew the feeling of being looked down on from everyone around you.

Peter stared at his phone, debating again if he should reach out to Sam. It was a debate he had nearly everyday, and everyday it became harder to resist.

A knock at the door broke Peter from his thoughts. He wasn’t expecting company. A jolt of excitement surged through his limbs; was Sam going to try again? Was he standing on the other side of the door with flowers and Peter’s favorite take out?

Peter put his glasses back on and rushed to the door, flinging it open. The man that was in the other side wasn’t Sam, but he did look familiar. 

“Uh, hello?”

The blonde man looked exhausted. His skin was pale and he had dark bags under his eyes. He fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“You might not remember be, I’m Clint Barton, Sam’s partner.” He showed Peter his badge to prove who he was.

“Sam doesn’t live here anymore.” Peter was close to shutting the door. The embarrassment of being known only as Sam’s roommate bubbled back to the surface.

“I know.” Clint’s voice was strained. “But you’re listed as his emergency contact.”

“What?” Peter’s heart beat faster.

“The hospital needs someone to fill out paperwork for him.”

“No…no…” Peter gripped the door frame as his legs began to feel week. Fate made the choice for him.

A calm hand was placed on his shoulder. “He’s alive, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Clint stepped back into the hall. “I can give you a ride down.”

Peter nodded and retreated to grab his keys and wallet. His blood was pounding in his ears. What state was Sam in? Peter was afraid to ask, afraid to give away Sam’s secret. Because it wasn’t his to give. He loved Peter too much to put his career on the line.

Would Sam even want to see him?

The ride was quiet, but over quickly. Peter followed Clint into the hospital, through a maze of hallways, until they stopped at a nurse’s station. Peter fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt as Clint talked with the nurse.

The blonde man turned to him, “He’s in the second room there- 616-A. No need to wait around, I’ll bring the paperwork to you.”

Peter nodded and slowly made his way to the room. He gingerly turned the knob, afraid to make too much sound. He closed the door with a soft click and took a steadying breath. The room was dimly lit, yet he could make out the pale candor of Sam’s face. There was a dark bruise on his cheek. Peter slowly made his way over to the side of the bed. He eyed the IV and studied the monitors.

He turned as the door creaked open. Clint stood in the doorway, “He looks worse than he his.” He crossed the room and handed Peter a stack of papers and a clipboard.

Peter took another glance at Sam before taking a seat. “What happened?”

Clint shrugged. “Cop stuff. It happens. He was responding to a break in and was shot by one of the perps.” He ran a hand across his short hair. “Can’t help blame myself, it was my day off and he was with a rookie. I got here right after he got out of surgery, he hasn’t woke up yet. Rest of the guys went home to get some sleep, or went back on duty. But I’m his partner, ya know? I can’t leave. But I figured I’d be useful and fetch you since they couldn’t reach you by phone.”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut. He had changed his number shortly after the breakup, of course Sam wouldn’t have his new one on file. Peter looked at the papers in his lap. All standard stuff. He filled it out to the best of his ability, and was surprised at how much he knew about Sam. The beeping of the monitors rang in his ears as he wrote.

He was nearing the last page when Clint cleared his throat. “I guess he should update his emergency contact then?”

Peter frowned. “He doesn’t have any family around here. Just friends.”

“I meant your number.” Clint eyed him. “Ah.” He nodded, “Now it makes much more sense.”

“Wha-”

“Don’t worry. I don’t care. Not sure how I didn’t figure it out before now, guess the kid is a better actor than I gave him credit for.” Clint crossed his arms. “You might want to leave before he wakes up then. I know from experience: the last thing a guy wants to see when they wake up from trauma is their ex.”

Peter’s head was swimming. Clint had put the pieces together so quickly. But he was right, Sam wouldn’t want to see him. It would be easier to leave, to not have to explain to Sam that…that what? That he was still in love with him? Hopelessly so? He felt tears start to form and blinked them away. He took a long look at Sam, and with a shaky breath stood to leave.

“When he wakes up…” Peter shook his head. “Never mind.”

Clint grabbed his arm as he walked past. “I won’t tell anyone, so don’t worry. I’ve seen what can happen to gay cops…it’s a mixed bag, some don’t care, some will beat a man on the street and call him slurs. Ours doesn’t have any bad apples that I know of, but he’s right to be wary. He’s done a good job hiding it.”

“Take care of him.”

Peter slipped his arm out of Clint’s grip. He made it to the door and suddenly the monitors started beeping loudly. Peter had been in enough hospitals to know not to panic, it was just a sign he was waking up. He turned and looked at Sam; he seemed so frail laying there. Peter wanted to wrap him in his arms and protect him from the world.

“I’ll let the nurse know on my wait out.”

Clint grabbed the clipboard. “I’ll get the nurse.”

Peter blinked up at him, but he was out of the room before he could argue. He sighed and walked over to Sam’s side. Slowly he began to wake. It was something Peter had watched countless times before. This time was different, because Sam was alive; and he knew what he was going to do.

Sam blinked at him, the painkillers making his mind fuzzy. Peter was familiar with the haze of waking up after surgery, it was disorienting. So he was surprised when Sam focused on him. “Peter?”

Peter nodded and squeezed his hand. “Yea, it’s me.”

Sam gave him a sloppy smile. “I guess that bullet killed me? Worth it.”

Peter’s heart swelled with love and guilt, “You’re alive Sam.” Peter gave him a soft kiss on his forehead.

Sam blinked, trying to force himself through the fog. The nurse came in, followed by Clint and Peter dropped Sam’s hand.

The nurse checked his vitals as Clint walked next to Peter. “I told you, I don’t care.”

Peter slid his hand back into Sam’s and held on as he slipped back to sleep.

The nurse turned to them. “He’ll need a few days bed rest, but he’ll be good to go home when the morphine wears off.” The nurse checked a few more things before leaving the room.

They sat in silence for a while until Clint turned to him with a thoughtful expression.

“You still love him?”

“Yes.”

Clint nodded. “Good. Then you take him home. He’s a bear when he’s hurt. He’d make me shoot him myself.”

Peter smiled. Sam was a bear, but he had always been his bear. When he had a sprained ankle a few months before, Peter learned first hand that an immobile Sam was a crabby one. But he took it in stride, making Sam his favorite meals when he got home from a day of desk ‘busy’ work.

“Gladly. If he wants to.”

“I want to.” Sam’s voice was clearer than it had been before.

Peter jumped up to Sam’s side. “Sam?”

“I want to go home.”

“I don’t know where you’re living now, but sure. I’ll make sure you get home.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I want to go with you. Please?”

Peter bent down and placed a kiss on his nose. “Anything you want, it’s yours.”

Sam blinked, then turned his head away from Peter. “No…I can’t. I can’t do that to you again.” He clinched his eyes closed.

Clint walked over to the other side of the bed. “Heya Sam. Stop being a drama queen.”

Peter smiled over at him, “He’s still a little high on morphine…”

“Clint?” Sam opened his eyes. “No! Don’t- don’t tell!” He tried to sit up, but two sets of hands held him to the bed.

“Buddy, I don’t care. Half the force wouldn’t care either- at least at our precinct.”

“Sam…I want you to come home.”

Sam turned his attention back to Peter. “I’m sorry.”

Peter kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry too. Now, get some sleep. We’ll get you home tomorrow, and we will have plenty of time to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~And they lived happily ever after~???
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Originally I was going to have three ending options (happy/sad/bittersweet), but this one ended up being longer than I expected…and I don’t have the emotional fortitude to write the other two….


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